Perspectives 16: How Are You Right Now?

Issue 16: December, 2018

 

In This Issue

• How Are You Right Now? – a guest article by Melinda Elliott

• Upcoming Workshops

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Happy (almost) Winter Solstice.

As we move deeper into the winter’s invitations to quiet and rest, I want to share with you a lovely article written by now-retired co-active coach, Melinda Elliott.

Melinda and I were in coach training together, and this article resurfaced this week as I was looking for something else. It brought me a lovely sense of calm and centeredness in the midst of a crazy few days, and I hope it brings gifts to you too. My thanks to Melinda for her permission to share it.

How Are You Right Now?
by Melinda Elliott

Katherine Russell Rich was told 22 years ago that she had two years to live. Still very much alive today, Katherine recently published her second book called Dreaming in Hindi.

Diagnosed with Stage IV cancer over two decades ago, Katherine isn’t cancer free, nor did she go into remission, she’s simply living an amazing life, cancer and all.

I’m in awe of Katherine. I became unhinged when I couldn’t get rid of the rodent in my house – I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with what is essentially a death sentence hanging over my head every moment of every day, year after year.

While I’m lucky enough to have no real concept of what she’s going through, as I read her words, I do see similarities to the experience of aging, that creeping sense of my own mortality. The awareness that there are fewer days ahead of me than are behind me. The realization that if the next ten years pass as quickly as the last ten years, I’ll suddenly find myself (me! not my father!) approaching 70. The reality that the shock of becoming “middle aged” is turning into the shock of becoming “old”.

But something Katherine wrote stuck with me: “How are you now? I learned to ask myself whenever I feel an ominous buzz in a bone, whenever uncertainty threatens to swamp me. How are you right now? And each time, the answer is, Fine. Stay right there, in this day, stay right here in your mind.”

That question “How are you right now?” resonated with me and over the next few days I found it popping into my consciousness. While attending a graduation at my old college campus, I looked at the dorm where I’d lived so many years ago, and I was struck with a wave of emotion; it was so long ago that this was my home. Back then my future was full of baby boomer dreams – who will I marry? How many children will I have? But now, someone else was living in that dorm, and my future had taken on a threatening tinge – visions of walkers and mysterious pains had taken over dreams of romance and babies. But as I paused, Katherine’s question, “How are you right now?” wrapped around me like a hug. How was I? I was fine, feeling blessed to celebrate my friend’s graduation on this sunny spring day.

Katherine Russell Rich’s journey provides us with a unique perspective – not many people live 20 years on the other side of a death sentence. She’s become expert in living in the moment, in living with, but not being conquered by, the awareness that life is not forever.

And her question “How are you right now?” is a powerful antidote to anything that takes us out of the present moment. It eases fears of the future and haunting memories from the past, it restricts our hard times to when they occur, letting us enjoy as much of the rest of our life as possible. It helps us stay centered in what we do have, not what we are afraid to lose.

Used with permission. Originally published in August 17, 2010 in The Easy Place: The Quest for Self Awareness One Moment at a Time.

Join the conversation…

• What happens for you when you ask yourself, “How am I right now?”

• What other tools do you use to bring yourself into the present?

Thoughts? Questions? Leave a comment below!

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Building Mutual Respect and Trust Workshop

Mutual respect and trust are essential parts of healthy and productive work/team environments, but how do we create that? Learn concrete tools for cultivating trust and respect as a foundation for nurturing successful work/team relationships.

Logistics: Tuesday, March 5th from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. at PCC’s CLIMB Center in inner SE (near OMSI), room 307. The cost is $29.

Pre-registration is required. To register, go to http://www.pcc.edu/community and use CRN 16780.

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Dates for Spring Workshops at PCC

I am teaching two workshops at PCC this spring term. Locations are yet to be determined but in case you want to mark your calendars, they will be:

  • Moving from Complaints to Collaboration on Thursday April 18th from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m.
    Complaints – our own and other people’s – feel like burdens and shut us down. Learn simple, effective ways to shift your own approach, and your organization, team, or relationship, from a dynamic of complaint to a dynamic of collaboration.
  • Running Focused, Engaged Meetings on Thursday, May 2nd from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m.
    What drives you crazy in meetings? What do you wish you could change in the meetings you run, or participate in? This workshop combines lively presentations on useful tools and practices with Q & A and highly interactive exercises based on actual challenges experienced by participants.

You can register for these workshops once the spring schedule is out in February. I look forward to seeing you.

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What People Say About My Groups and Workshops

“Emotional, rewarding and life changing.”

The group was inspiring, stimulating, helped me shift out of negativity toward optimistic ideas. I love your style – welcoming, supportive.”

“This workshop has changed how I think about my life.”

“I now have LOTS of tools to help me make shifts in my life that I’ve wanted.”

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Coaching

Are you reaching for some kind of transformation in your life, work, or relationship?

Whether you are clear about what you want to be different, or just clear that something needs to change, coaching can help you move through the process of identifying and letting go of what’s in your way, getting a clearer, more useful sense of what you want, and developing new frameworks, tools and habits that will get you there.

We will focus in on what is most alive for you, most stuck, most confusing, and discover ways for you to access your own deep wisdom and to release old patterns that have stopped serving you and are preventing you from making the changes you want to make. Coaching is practical — learning and action are integrated, so you are actually taking the steps you want to be taking while getting more clarity about what makes these changes challenging and how to make it easy. The cost for three months of individual coaching is $585. The three-month package for relationship coaching is $915.

You will find information about my coaching work on my coaching and relationship coaching pages.

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Quotes from relationship coaching clients:

“I appreciated the concrete tools Tasha provided. In contrast to couple’s therapy, where we would get caught up in unhealthy narratives, we found more productive movement and commitment to the process in a short amount of time.”

“Through coaching, we learned how to become less triggered and reactive with each other, making it possible for us to see, hear, and engage with each other with compassion, curiosity, and resilience.”

“Tasha’s support has made us more resourceful listeners and collaborators in our partnership, as well as in other relationships with family, friends and colleagues.”

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I wish you a lovely December, and a gentle turning into the new year.

Tasha

PS: Pass it on!

If you know someone who’d benefit from this newsletter, please pass it on to them. Thanks for helping me connect with the people who want what I have to offer.

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